PumaHottie (pumahottie) wrote,

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I... NEED... OUT!

I told Cole I would write an entry about the whole "luv" vs. "love" controversy. Unfortunately, I am not going to write a book about it, like I normally would... I have too much to write about tonight.

The simplest definition of love is "An intense emotional attachment". In the past, I have had boyfriends that got offended when I said "I love *insert friends name here*". So then I was forced to start using the I LOVE my boyfriend, and I LUV my friends, technique. Luckily, Brad is smart enough to know that the love I am talking about with him, is much different than the love I have for friends. I wrote this entry for a few reasons... One, Brad is far more mature than the past boyfriends, here's proof. Two, if I suddenly start saying "I love you" or "I love ya" instead of the normal, "luv ya"... Don't belt out by saying "Uh-oh, What's your man gonna say?!", or "No you don't."... And Three, don't stoop to the ultimate low of immaturity, and think that because I am saying "love" instead of "luv" that I am madly in love with you, it's nothing different than the "luv" I used 2 days ago... So, in short, I am trying to say this (using Cole for an example): I don't love Cole like I love Brad, but the fact remains, I love them both... Brad is my boyfriend, and I love him more than anything... Cole's one of my closest friends, and I love him too. It's just on different levels. Congrats, you've all made it out of the immaturity stage that was present due to my Ex-Boyfriend's immaturity levels.

Anyway, moving on... I talked to Brad yesterday about moving outta my house. But there are afew things that are stopping me now. One, I need a job to get money for someplace else to live... and Two, I don't want to live alone, I want to be with Brad. However, this is also impossible for (most likely) the next 2 years, since Brad will have to live in the dorms at Syracuse Univ. So for now, I have decided that I am going to stay at home, and get a job and start saving up for money that will hopefully be used for buying a nice apt/house in Syracuse for Brad and I in 2 years. I mentioned this to Brad, and I think he realized yet again how much I loved him when I mentioned living home for another 2 years, he knows how much I hate it here... But hey, saving up money to move out to be with him... the 2 years of complete and utter hell are going to be well worth it.

Today, I realized how hard the next two years might end up being. I'll admit, I wasn't completely overworked, but I can't deal with people dictating to me, and bitching, and yelling, and moaning, all fuckin' day long. I don't understand why I must clean the house at 10:30pm. It makes no sense to me what-so-ever. But, I did as I was asked, to prevent any further bitching and moaning. I had just sat back down, and my step mom say "I don't see why you can't help me in here"... So as I was getting up she said "you are so selfish". Umm... Laura, selfish? I fuckin' bend over backwards for people 24/7. I do everything in my power to help people out, and make them happy... Yet, I still get called selfish? So, what did I do? I sat back down... If you're gonna call me selfish, then I'm gonna show you exactly how SELFISH I can be. I needed to vent alittle, so I IMed someone who I thought would comfort me, maybe a tiny bit... Since I have been there quite afew times for him, What'd he say? "I really don't wanna hear it, I have no sympathy for you"... What the fuck? Just when I thought people couldn't possibly piss me off anymore tonight... I ignored it, I wasn't about to start another arguement that would have ended up pissing me off even more. I don't mind helping around the house, I really don't. However, I do mind doing a shitload for people who never bother opening their mouths to say a simple "Thank You". I'm not fuckin' Cinderella, nor am I a little puppet on a string, thank you very much.

BRAD: thank you baby
LAURA: for what?
BRAD: just for being yourself
^He always knows how to make me feel better...
I love you more than all the stars...
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