PumaHottie (pumahottie) wrote,
PumaHottie
pumahottie

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Her eyes, they drown in tears...

I've learned one thing in High School... Life is bullshit. Honestly, you work your ass off, and one day, everything blows up in your gawd damn fuckin' face. I failed my Economics final. So, if I can't somehow manage to take Economics in summer school, I will be Graduating in January or June of 2004. I wont be allowed to be in the graduation with my 2003 class, and my life will be complete hell. Many thoughts have run threw my head today. Everything from completely saying "Fuck it" and dropping out to just going back for an entire year, and start all over again. It just pisses me off, I fuckin' tried. Freshmen and Sophomore year, my attitude towards high school was "I'll get threw it to make my parents happy"... When I realized that didn't work, my attitude Junior and Senior year changed to, "I'll get threw it to make myself happy"... Obviously, that didn't work either. So, I when Brad called me I was practically in tears, I told him what was going on, and he simply said "just learn from your mistakes and move on, it's like your second chance to make it right..." After my convo with Brad, I spent plenty of time thinking. School is extremely important to Brad, I guess none of you would really understand, unless you know him personally... But because of him, I've decided that whatever I need to do to get my ass outta high school is what I am going to do, whether it is spending my summer in a classroom, or spending a whole entire year back at G.R.B... This time, I'm not doing it for my parents, and I'm not doing it for me... I'm doing it for Brad.

While I was on the phone with Brad, I happened to remember that I left Gabi (my dog) outside, and I hadn't heard her kicking at the door to come back inside yet. So, I had him hang on a minute... I went outside and tugged on her leash... Her leash came back, with her collar... but, she wasn't on it. I ran around the house, and into my backyard... When I didn't see her there, I paniced. I called my step mom's beeper and left our number and 911, and then I called my sister at work. They both rushed home, by the time my step mom pulled into the driveway, Gabi was at our fence looking at her... I was pissed. First off, I was having a shitty day with the news about school, then all this. I was crying hysterically. Honestly, I was crying so bad that my sister and step mom said they could barely understand what I was trying to tell them on the phone. I went to the fence, picked Gabi up around her stomach and carried her from our backyard fence to my front door and let her inside. It's amazing what you can do when you're pissed off. Gabi isn't a small dog, nor is she a light one.

I figured since I was already in tears, and having most likely the worst day of my life thus far, I should take advantage of that, and ask my step mom for permission to spend the day with Brad tomorrow. However, she decided not to feel the least bit sympathetic, and without a second thought said "no". I looked at her like "I'm going to kill you if you don't let me..." and she said "I think we need to talk about this school stuff first..." *sigh*... I need to see Brad, he's the only person that makes my life worth living.

So, now after my tramatic day from hell, I am left with three unanswered questions. #1, Am I graduating June 28th with the rest of the GRB class of 2003?... Or am I a 5th year Senior? #2, Am I going to murder my dog, for giving me a fuckin' heart attack, when I was already under a massive amount of stress?... Or can I forgive her one more time?... and #3, Am I going to get to see my man tomorrow, so he can hold me and make everything alright?... Or is my stress level going to keep growing and growing until I fuckin' explode?

Stay tuned for the next episode of Laura's fuckin' dramatic life...

L.
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